⚡ Harry Potter and the Things That Still Don’t Make Sense (Part 3)

 At this point, I’ve accepted that Harry Potter isn’t just a story. It’s a ✨ lifestyle ✨—one that includes questionably-dressed wizards, sentient books that try to kill you, and magical creatures with more personality than half the main cast. If you're here, it's because you too have asked yourself, “Wait… did no one find it weird that a werewolf was casually teaching middle schoolers?”

Let’s unpack.

🧚 1. Magical Creatures Are Cute Until They’re Not

Let’s start with the basics. The Harry Potter world is FULL of magical beasts. But the more you think about them, the more you realize: most of these creatures are either cursed, dangerous, or should be in therapy.

• Hippogriffs: Beautiful, majestic, deadly if you don’t bow right. One wrong move and your organs become fertilizer.

• Blast-Ended Skrewts: Hagrid’s homemade nightmares. These things are like angry lobsters mixed with rockets. Why are they allowed in a school?!

• Acromantulas: ENORMOUS spiders. In the forest. Who talk. And want to eat you. Why is this legal.

• The Basilisk: A GIANT SNAKE just living in Hogwarts’ pipes. Slipping through sinks. You tell me how that’s okay.

Basically, the creature vibe is “majestic murder noodle” meets “emotional support hellhound.”

Also, can someone please check on Buckbeak? He just flew off with Sirius Black and never paid rent again.

🧦 2. Dobby Is the Only One With Common Sense

Dobby. Our sock-loving king. The one who tried to save Harry from Hogwarts using a cake and a lamp. Iconic.

While everyone else was like “Don’t worry, the school is safe,” Dobby was out here sacrificing his own bones and dignity to warn Harry that death was literally on the timetable.

And let’s not forget:

• He took out Bellatrix Lestrange with a kitchen knife.

• He escaped the Malfoys, started working for fair wages, and rocked mismatched socks like a fashion rebel.

• He died a hero, not a side character. He deserved a statue. Or at least a blanket.

Justice for Dobby. I would’ve followed him into battle. Or to a sale at Madam Malkin’s.

🧥 3. Wizard Fashion Is Either Iconic or a Hate Crime

Wizards apparently haven’t updated their wardrobe since the 1300s. Robes, pointy hats, capes in July? Okay. But when they do try to dress like Muggles, it’s like watching your uncle try TikTok.

Remember when Mr. Weasley wore a suit and tie on top of his pajamas? Or when Dumbledore attended court looking like a drag queen who got lost on the way to the Renaissance Fair?

Also: Why are wizard dress robes so ugly? Poor Ron looked like a lacy sofa from the 1800s. And let’s not forget the Yule Ball fashion crime scene. Only Fleur and Parvati carried. The rest? Arrest them.

Wizard designers really said, “You want magical elegance?” and gave us curtain couture.

📖 4. Why Are So Many School Supplies Actively Trying to Kill You?

Hogwarts supply list: wand, cauldron, books, possible danger to life.

Let’s review:

• Monster Book of Monsters: Tries to eat your hand. Required reading.

• Sneakoscopes: Constantly go off around Ron. No one cares.

• Quills that write insults: Used by Umbridge as punishment. Literal blood-writing. Where was the educational board again?

Honestly, it’s not “back to school,” it’s “back to the war zone.”

👀 5. Why Does No One Question How Sketchy Animagi Are?

You can literally turn into an animal, spy on people, and NO ONE CAN PROVE IT. Like, Professor McGonagall turns into a cat and just roams around like that’s normal.

Meanwhile, Peter Pettigrew faked his own death for 12 years and was sleeping in a child’s bedroom AS A RAT.

This is not just suspicious. It’s lawyer-up level creepy. Animagus registration should come with a GPS tracker and background check.

Also, Sirius Black turns into a dog and escapes prison, and the guards are like “Huh. Must’ve been the wind.”

🔮 6. Divination Is Useless… Except When It’s Terrifying

For most of the series, Divination is the joke subject. Professor Trelawney is out here smelling of sherry and predicting everyone's doom.

But THEN she actually delivers real prophecies… in a trance… with a demon voice.

So are we just… not going to talk about that? This woman has actual seer powers and everyone treats her like the school’s messy aunt who won’t leave after the party.

Also: Crystal balls are clearly cursed. Why do they roll themselves off the tables? Why do they always show something vague and dramatic? I'm calling it now: cursed snow globes.

🪙 7. Gringotts Is Just… Deeply Unethical?

Let’s talk about this sketchy bank run by goblins:

• You ride a rickety minecart with no seatbelt.

• The vaults are guarded by dragons, cursed doors, and riddles.

• One mistake and you might get eternally locked in.

You’d think in a magical society, you could just tap your wand and transfer galleons. But no. You have to go spelunking with creatures that hate humans and love gold. Sounds like a good time to me!

Also, who said those coins are actually secure? Anyone could Polyjuice into someone and rob the whole system. Griphook knew. Griphook knew.

🕰️ 8. Time Turners Exist and We Don’t Use Them for Anything Important

Hermione used one to attend extra classes. Ma’am. You had access to TIME TRAVEL and you used it for education? Couldn’t you have, I don’t know, stopped Voldemort from being born, or saved literally anyone?

But no. We went from “Time-Turner” to “Oops, we broke them all offscreen in Book 5” and hoped no one noticed.

Imagine having time travel and still not fixing the Ministry. Iconic.

✨ Final Thought Before I Levitate Out of This Timeline

Three blog posts in and we’re still uncovering layers of Harry Potter chaos. The world is full of danger noodles, fashion flops, unpaid elf labor, and a surprising amount of spiders. And yet, I’d still go. I’d pack my robes, bring snacks for the Thestrals, and pretend I’m not terrified of Aragog.

Because deep down, this magical mess is ours.

Let me know if you want Part 4: “Magical Laws That Make No Sense, Hogwarts Professors Who Need HR Training, and Why the Room of Requirement is Basically a sentient drama queen.”

Mischief managed... again. 

Haru