I failed! My Journey So Far – And Why I’m Starting Again, Stronger This Time

This is probably the hardest blog post I’ve written. Not because I don’t know what to say but because it carries a truth that still stings: I didn’t pass my exam. After months of preparing, crying, hoping, and dreaming, the results didn’t turn out the way I wanted. And yes it hurts. A lot.

But I’m writing this not as a goodbye, not with sadness in my voice, but with clarity. This is me closing a chapter, not the book. Because the story isn’t over.

I sat for 9 subjects earlier this year, and trust me, it felt like climbing a mountain barefoot, with books on my back and stress as my shadow. I gave it what I had. I studied when my brain felt fried. I showed up on the hard days. I believed really believed that I could do it. And maybe, in some twisted way, failing was life’s brutal way of telling me: “Not yet. But don’t stop.”

So here I am, facing the same 9 subjects again. But this time, I’m not doing it with fear. I’m doing it with fire.

Because now I know what the battlefield looks like. I know the pressure. I know the mistakes. I know where I fell and more importantly, I know how to rise.

I’ve cried enough. I’ve questioned everything. I’ve felt the guilt, the shame, the disappointment, especially when I had to look at my dada and say the words I never wanted to say: “I didn’t make it.” But he stood by me. Just like always. And now, I owe it to him, and to myself, to try again—not because I failed, but because I deserve to succeed.

So, this blog post will be my last one until October. Not because I’ve given up writing, but because I need to give all of me to this exam. All the hours. All the focus. All the late nights and early mornings. This time, it’s war and I’m walking in armed with passion, energy, and experience.

I’ll miss sharing my random thoughts here. I’ll miss rambling about Taro milk and weird emotions and chaotic food cravings. But I know they’ll still be waiting when I return.

To anyone reading this who’s also failed something recently please don’t stop. Please don’t shrink your dreams just because one path didn’t work. Try again, even if your voice shakes. Try again, even if you're scared. Because sometimes starting over is the most courageous thing you’ll ever do.

Final Thought: This isn’t a goodbye. It’s just a break. A reset. A promise to myself that I’ll come back stronger. And when I return, it won’t be with regret it’ll be with results.

See you after October.
With love and strength,
– HARU 🖤