Me, Thai Language, and an Emotional Breakdown Over Pad Thai

Okay, let’s just get this out of the way—I decided to learn Thai. Yep. Out of all the possible things I could be doing after exams or during my free time (like watching BL dramas or finally folding that laundry pile that’s starting to become a piece of modern art), I told myself, “Let’s learn Thai! It'll be fun!”

Oh, sweet, innocent me.

So here I am, bravely trying to learn a language that has five tones, letters that look like noodles doing yoga, and words that change meaning if you say them slightly wrong. Like, how does one tiny change in tone make the word go from “near” to “meat”? Why am I being personally attacked by vowels? Why does my tongue feel like it's doing an obstacle course every time I say “s̄wạs̄dī”?

I downloaded every Thai learning app ever created, joined a few YouTube channels with titles like “Learn Thai in 30 Days!” (lies. all lies), and even tried repeating after Thai dramas. Fun fact: if you try to mimic Thai actors mid-emotional confession scene, your dad will 100% think you're possessed.

And don’t even get me started on the writing system. I opened the Thai alphabet chart and immediately closed it like it was a cursed scroll. There are 44 consonants. FORTY-FOUR. And 28 vowels. That’s not a language—that’s a final boss level.

But am I giving up? No. Because I have a dream. A dream of going to Thailand and being able to order food without pointing randomly and praying I don’t get boiled pig feet.

Speaking of food—Thai cuisine is the only thing keeping me sane during this Thai-learning journey. Pad Thai? Heaven on a plate. Som Tam? That spicy papaya salad slapped me so hard, I forgot my own name for a minute. Tom Yum soup? It cured my cold, my sadness, and possibly my past life sins.

And don’t even get me started on mango sticky rice. That dessert is a hug from the universe. Honestly, half the reason I want to learn Thai is so I can read original Thai recipes without trusting shady Google translations like “cook until chicken is emotionally soft.”

Now I walk around muttering Thai greetings under my breath while shoveling spoonfuls of green curry into my mouth. I’m pretty sure my neighbors think I’ve joined a cult. One day I might burst out and scream “อร่อยมาก!” (delicious!) during a quiet bus ride.

In short:
Me: I want to learn Thai because I love Thai culture, food, and BL dramas.
Also me: cries while trying to pronounce "ng-ng" sound for the 10th time

But hey, I’m not giving up. Even if I only end up knowing how to say “hello,” “thank you,” and “extra spicy, please,” that’s still a win in my book. Learning something new is hard, confusing, and slightly soul-crushing… but also kind of exciting.

So if you need me, I’ll be sitting in a corner eating Thai food, watching Thai dramas with subtitles, and mumbling Thai phrases like a confused parrot. Happiness is a journey, but Thai food is immediate joy.

With confused pronunciation and a bowl of noodles,
HARU 🍜