Waiting for My Exam Results – A Horror Story (Starring Me)

There should be a movie called "The Results Are Coming." Genre? Psychological horror. Main character? Me. Plot? A poor soul anxiously waiting for exam results while imagining 57 different ways life could crash and burn if things don’t go well.

Honestly, this waiting game is worse than the actual exam. At least with the exam, I knew when it started and when it ended. But with results? It’s like waiting for a ghost to jump out at you. You don’t know when, you don’t know how, but you know it’s going to ruin your day.

My Brain Right Now:

Status: Not okay.
I wake up thinking about it.
I fall asleep thinking about it.
I open Instagram to distract myself but end up scrolling through "How to stay calm during results" posts and spiral into more stress.

Even when someone says “don’t worry,” I want to scream, “GIRL I AM LITERALLY MADE OF WORRY RIGHT NOW.”

Let’s talk about the nightmare scenario because apparently, my brain loves self-torture. If I fail…

• I’ll have to study again.
  Not just "study a bit" like cute revision. I mean the full-on, heavy-duty, no-social-life, caffeine-powered nine subjects again. NINE. That’s not a number. That’s a punishment.

• I’ll be dead stressed again.
  The kind of stress where you forget how to smile, binge eat random snacks, and argue with your pillow at 3 a.m.

• I’ll feel like I’ve gone backward.
  Like all the time I spent bent over books, saying no to fun, crying quietly over mock tests—it’ll feel like it didn’t matter.

Even if I fail (please no), I’m still someone who tried. I’m someone who pushed through, dragged myself to the finish line, and didn’t give up. That counts for something. Maybe not on paper, but definitely in real life.

And yeah, I’ll be angry, disappointed, and emotionally unstable for a bit. But then? I’ll pull myself together. I always do. I’ve been through worse. I’ve survived exam seasons, emotional breakdowns, and running out of ink pens during finals. I’ll survive this too.

Right now, I’m anxious. My mind’s a mess. I feel like a ticking time bomb made of anxiety and leftover exam trauma. But I’m still here. Waiting. Hoping. Dreading. Surviving.

If you’re in the same boat, floating in the ocean of "What ifs"—hang in there. We might be a mess, but we’re a strong, chaotic, determined mess.

– HARU 📚💣